Weather the Storm

A few weeks ago, I posted a blog on dealing with a mental health slump. But this is a tough year. I mean, 2020 is definitely out to get us, which is why I don’t think we should wrap up the conversation on caring for our mental state too quickly.

This week, in the dystopian disaster movie that is our collective life, we here in northwest Ohio experienced some severe storm warnings. Normally, thunderstorms aren’t too alarming, but this one brought on the threat of a derecho, which is basically a long wall of powerful wind that travels with a severe storm. We had one of those back in 2012 that caused a lot of damage, so our community was definitely on edge when those notifications started blowing up our phones.

We prepared our house by tying things down outside that couldn’t be brought inside and made sure our shelter was supplied with flashlights and water bottles. Then we made pizza and waited on the storm. Not long into our dinner, my son lost it.

He cried and cried, convinced we ate our last meal, absolutely positive he’d never see his Legos again, and so sure our pets would be cast to the wind. As a mom, it broke my heart to see him so scared. My husband and I aren’t particularly afraid of storms. We’re the people who prefer to sit in lawn chairs and watch it roll over us. My storm fears these days usually come more from the homeowner perspective. “Gosh, I hope our insurance is good.” “We just bought that; I hope it doesn’t blow away.” “If this window breaks, how will I keep the bugs out?”

But seeing my boy give into his fear really made me think about the current events taking place across the country right now. And as I talked through my son’s feelings with him, the thunder rumbling outside and the winds picking up speed, I tried to remind myself how I should be applying all our talk to my everyday life.

Here’s what we came up with:

1. Focus on what you can control. The weather does what it wants. There’s nothing we can do about it. Likewise, a virus, (and our government) do their own thing. We just get dragged along, which can be super frustrating. Right now, most of our lives are altered in some way. We’re afraid of losing majorly important things—like our freedoms, or even our lives. Sometimes, let’s be real here, we even blow things waaaaay out of proportion. But what we can control is how we handle it. Minimize. Minimize. Minimize. When we look at the whole picture, it’s terrifying. No wonder we feel so out of control and lost in this. Our arms only stretch so far. So, start there. Focus on what happens inside the walls of your home, where you can reach. If you go to a job, your only concern should be the next person in front of you. One thing, one person at a time.
2. What you can’t control, give it to God. It’s a waste of energy to fret and worry about what the next rule that passes will be, how the virus will spread. Take it out of your hands, and put it in God’s. He may not take away the problem—because, as we know, He likes to use difficult circumstances to teach us (James 1:2-4)—but He does promise to help us through those trials and give us peace (John 16:33). And doesn’t peace sound really great right about now?
3. Be brave. Wallowing is easier; let’s be honest. Giving into the fear is simpler; it’s true. But God never meant for us to live in fear (2 Timothy 1:7). You can face this storm with courage. You can handle what you’re able to handle and give up what you can’t. That’s true bravery.

 

*Author’s note: If your struggles go beyond what you feel capable of dealing with, or if you’re having trouble getting out of bed in the morning, please reach out to your doctor. Please reach out to a licensed counselor, a trusted friend, a pastor, me. There is no shame in needing some extra help to get through this trying time. There is no shame in needing professional help or requiring a medication to help you function a little more like your “old self.”

You’re not alone.

Navigating Mental Health Challenges During COVID-19

I had a weird nudge to write about mental health this week. At the beginning of our COVID-19 stay-at-home order, I read many commentaries on how people with mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety, would suffer greatly while we were all locked away.

Summed-up backstory moment: I got my official depression/anxiety diagnosis in October, 2017. I’m pretty sure I’ve had it since college (almost 15 years, ugh). Alas, doctors continued to tell me it was just “stress” all this time. Super helpful.

But anyway, I’m medicated now and can handle life a whole lot better.

So, in the beginning of quarantine. Those few months of staying at home actually went really well for me. I loved having nothing in my planner, never having to get ready to go anywhere, and pretty much just staying in my pajamas all day long. I kept very busy, even repainting the entire interior of the house. But I knew the hardest part of all this for me would be when the world opened back up. My worries didn’t center on catching the virus but on “going back out there” and doing regular life again outside of my control zone.

I generally have to psych myself up just to get the mail at the post office or grab dinner at a restaurant. If I’m at any sort of gathering, even with the people I love most in the world, I still need a good bit of rest afterward to recover. I do not care for this about myself, but here we are.

So, no surprise, when the stay-at-home order lifted, I found myself sitting in my car for long periods of time before I could run into a grocery store. I debated pulling our family out of every activity and using COVID as the excuse. I even scoured the internet for inspirational quotes to help ease me back into being a human.

Why am I like this? I have no idea. But I know I’m not the only one out there that deals with it on a daily basis.

It took a couple months of the state being reopened before my depression reared its ugly head. It always sneaks up on me slowly and makes me question it. Maybe that’s not really what it is. Maybe I’m just tired. Maybe I’m hormonal. Maybe it’s because I took my medicine at the wrong time of day. Etc.

It’s annoying.

All of this has led me to wanting to take a deeper look at navigating the crappy waters of mental health challenges and some ways we can wade through it.

***

After several weeks of wondering why I felt particularly distressed/tired/achy/anxious/lonely/etc., I finally pushed pause on my life to get some answers.

This leads to the first and most important step in healing: acknowledge its depression and embrace it.

That might seem weird, but if you’re like me, you fight it. I hate feeling like I don’t have control of something, and when that beast comes knocking, I fight it with everything in me. There’s stigma around depression, too, which doesn’t help. So for today, we’re just going to throw all stigmas out the window because mental health challenges are REAL, and the world we’re living in is breeding it at a faster rate than ever before.

Just like the flu, depression has its own symptoms unique to the individual. And just like the flu, it’s a illness. Unlike the flu, however, it doesn’t just vanish after a round of antibiotics (or whatever). There’s a chance you might deal with it forever, but you can manage your symptoms.

For me, my warning signs that I’ve got a big wave coming on include: not being able to look people in the eye, muscle tension in my shoulders, needing the house to be pristine at all times even if that means cleaning late at night or after a busy day, laser-focusing on a small problem until it becomes all-consuming, irritability, and I stop singing. That last one is usually a pretty good indicator because I’m always singing. When the music stops, I need help.

When you’re sick, you go to a doctor and get a diagnosis, which always relieves some of the “Holy crap what’s wrong with me!?” fear from things. With depression, if you’ve already gotten the diagnosis (and you should absolutely do that), you just have to acknowledge the “flare-up.”

It’s super important to take stock of the way you feel and face it head on. Lie down, take some deep breaths, and acknowledge that you’re struggling. Call the disease by name. Honestly, that’s easier said than done. I often try to downplay it. “My head is sick.” “I’m having a bad brain week.” And so on. But it is what it is.

You’re not weak because it’s there. You’re not failing at life. You’re sick. When you accept your diagnosis, you can begin to heal.

After the acceptance phase, we can finally begin treatment.

Onward!

***

Once I stopped running from it, laid on my bed, breathed in deep, and said, “Oh. This is depression rearing its stupid face,” I was able to start working through it.

I turned to my favorite resource on mental health: Pinterest.

I waded through many ideas on how to deal with a depression slump, but they all struck me as those montages you see in romantic comedies: sip hot tea in a bubble bath, have a dance party to your favorite song, call up an old friend to chat, do yoga, put on makeup and an outfit that makes you feel good.

I’m not doing any of those things. I mean, hot tea is fine in the winter, but it’s 95 degrees outside. No, thank you. And who can possibly throw a dance party when sitting upright is a chore?

So I’m sharing my list in case it helps even one person. This is what I do to pull myself up by the bootstraps:

1. Go to a dark, quiet space away from everyone else. Over-stimulation is a huge contributor to depression and anxiety. Your brain is crying out for a break.
2. Take a nap or just rest. Depression is exhausting. You’re going to need extra sleep to fight it.
3. Designate a special “calm down” song. Mine is “Oceans” by Hillsong United. I put that sucker on repeat for as long as I need to just breathe and re-center.
4. Pray honestly. I used to filter my prayers. For example, “Dear God, help me to be grateful for every part of my life.” Which is fine. But instead of being open and honest with God, I was just saying what I *thought* I was supposed to say. When I’m depressed, my prayers are now: “I hate everything, and I can’t do this anymore!” Just being honest with God upfront really opens the door to spilling out my soul and working things out through prayer, rather than trying to maintain a “pious” voice when I feel like I’m already failing at everything else. Ya know?
5. I’m terrible at deep meditation because I have zero focus. So what I like to do is just visualize an image and explore the detail in it, especially as it pertains to my senses. My go-to image is from the Bible where Peter steps out of the boat to walk on the water to Jesus. Only, I’m Peter. I imagine the storm raging around me and the uncertainty of what lurks below the water and how I absolutely should NOT be able to walk on water. But I just focus on Jesus and what it would take to ignore the chaos around me and just close that gap. Explore the sight of His calm presence, the roar of the thunder, the cold water under my feet, and on we go.
6. Make a to-do list. Break everything down, even mundane stuff like “shower, put clothes in washer, drink water, etc.” Crossing something off a list can give you a visual of how you’re actually accomplishing things and making forward progress.
7. For some people, this goes hand-in-hand with depression anyway. It doesn’t for me. I fight tears like I fight everything else. But letting go of all that pent-up emotion is soooo good for the body and soul. If you feel that tension building inside you and need it to release, find something that makes you cry. It can be anything: old photographs of loved ones, a heartbreaking scene from a movie, Johnson & Johnson commercials, you name it! You know what I discovered makes me cry? Dance. Like, seriously, I spent a good portion of my afternoon the other day watching waltzes and rumbas from Dancing with the Stars and bawled my eyes out. Who knew!? But I felt better afterward!

So this is my super un-romcom-y way of dealing with mental health slumps. I hope it helps.

At this point, it seems as if COVID-19 disparities will stick around for a while, which means we’ll continue to be bombarded with arguments, fear, and uncertainty—all nasty triggers for depression and anxiety. I pray we can keep our heads above water and make it to the other side soon.

You are loved.

 

Tossing Tables

A game I like to play is finding out what Biblical event people would most want to witness. For example, I might ask you, “Would you rather see Jonah get swallowed by the fish or watch Moses part the Red Sea?” (I still don’t have my answer to that one, by the way.)

But one of the top “Bible Moments” I’d love to witness might surprise you — due to its rather terrifying nature. I’m talking about that little incident in Matthew 21:12-13 (or Mark 11:15-18) where Jesus enters Jerusalem and immediately starts throwing tables in the temple courts.

This story just blows my mind! We always see pictures of Jesus holding lambs, smiling toward the heavens, and laughing as he cradles little children in his lap. What we don’t see so often is the image of our Savior storming into the temple square like a boss and rage-vandalizing.

Man, I’d love to watch the terror on everyone’s faces as they realize that Jesus Christ means some serious business. If someone I knew to be so sweet and gentle blew up out of nowhere like that? I’d probably pee myself, quite frankly.

Why would I like to witness an event that would make me need incontinence underwear, you might ask? Well, I think what I just love about this is that we get to see Jesus’ passion explode in the most literal way. In that moment, he was so offended by what he saw in front of him that he couldn’t keep the internal dam from bursting. Then, when the rage subsided, he told them all what they did wrong and continued teaching because he ultimately loved them in spite of their wrongdoing.

And the big wigs were freaked-the-heck-out. Mark 11:18 says, “The chief priests and the teachers of the law heard this and began looking for a way to kill him, for they feared him, because the whole crowd was amazed at his teaching.”

Rather than pushing the crowds away, Jesus’ explosive passion drew them in. People were amazed. So amazed, in fact, that it made the leaders step back and say, “Dudes. We gotta get rid of this guy. He’s too powerful. He’s just gonna keep flipping tables and gaining followers if we don’t do something soon! I mean, this guy? He gets stuff done! We can’t have that.”

And this gets me thinking: why aren’t we flipping more tables and making the forces of evil freak out a bit more? Why aren’t we raging at the way the world is going because we’re so deeply offended at how God is being disrespected? Sure, we post our thoughts through threatening memes on Facebook. We take pride when that posts ticks someone off because we’re right and social justice has been served to those heathens. Get all that out of the way and you can go back to that Netflix marathon or Instagramming your food. You have made God dang proud today, good and faithful servant.

Shenanigans. I’m calling it.

That’s not real passion. That’s not real action. That’s hiding behind a computer screen and making people angry for no reason.

That’s not love. That’s not helping anyone understand. That’s taking the easy way out and showing your own ignorance of the Cross.

So, really examine yourself. What makes you want to toss a table in the name of the Lord!? Are you sure that thing burning inside you is really in line with God’s heart? Double check. Just to be sure before the volcano’s unleashed.

Then, my darling, go flip some flipping tables. Walk into the world like a boss, make a scene, then amaze the people with your love, your passion, your fiery, deep love for God.

Love is action — physical action.

And sometimes it requires knocking over a bit of furniture to get things done.

 

A Sermon In The Sprinkler

Fact: I am the world’s worst blogger. (Obviously)

Fact: I let busyness get the best of me. Every. Single. Day.

Fact: I measure my value by the amount of things I cross off my to-do list at the end of the day.

I confess this because today I need to share a beautiful moment that sums up the lesson I’m slowly and stubbornly learning.

We’re in the process of moving to the next state over, which is quite a daunting task. I’ve spent the last several weeks packing, planning, and stressing until I’ve made myself physically ill. Instead of powering through my massive to-do list, it’s just growing longer by the day!

Now, I’d love to think that once we actually move and get settled, I’ll relax some. My to-do lists will shrink, and life will take on a new normal. But I know it won’t. Because when I’m totally honest with myself, I know that this stress really has very little to do with the big task of moving. This is just me, my life. This is how I am. If I haven’t cleaned my house, purged something, accomplished my writing, and been on top of my mommy and wifey game, I feel utterly worthless.

This deep down-to-the-bone sickness I feel all the time has been going on for so long, I don’t really remember what it’s like to feel well anymore. I am slowly killing myself, losing joy day after day, and never feeling free from the ginormous burdens I place on myself.

Cue Satan.

He just loves it when we do crap like this to ourselves. I’m convinced his favorite word is “enough”. He whispers that word to me a thousand times a day in various phrasings. “You’re not a good enough mom.” “You don’t spend enough time with the kids.” “You’re not doing enough to promote your writing career.” “You’re not a supportive enough wife.”

And because of that, I sink deeper into dissatisfaction with myself and with my life. I hate it.

Recognizing Satan’s voice in my life has been horrifying. Mostly because I hate how often I’ve listened to it and let it sink into my brain like poison.

One of my favorite things about my Heavenly Father is that He never lets Satan have the last word. And lately, John 10:10 has been running through my mind like a divinely inspired screensaver.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that you may have life and have it abundantly.”

Well, how about that?

As I meditate on this verse, I find myself craving that abundant life. I don’t always experience it. I don’t allow myself to feel joy and relish in the blessings I’ve been given.

Which brings me to today and my reason for posting to this blog for the first time in a year.

I spent my morning cleaning, working on laundry, and packing boxes. While I worked, my brain tossed around book ideas and reminded me how far behind I am in my writing career versus where I want to be. I relied on my coffee for energy and sent up prayers to keep me going forward.

But in spite of all the work I wanted to get done, my little boy needed me. Now, he’s not a cuddly kid. I have to chase him down for hugs most of the time. But today, he wanted to snuggle. So I did.

He wanted to play Legos next—and I am horrible at building with Legos. But we built.
Since the forecast promised a scorcher, I suggested to the kids that we have our outside playtime in the morning before it got too hot. They agreed, and I put on the sprinkler, grabbed my chair, and planned to watch them run and play while I worked on my next to-do list.

I only sat for about five minutes before, Ross begged me to join him. They know Mom isn’t one to go run through the sprinkler, but he insisted. I’d just showered after all my work inside and didn’t need to get covered in grass and dirt, but I felt in my heart that what I needed to do today was run through the sprinkler with my kids.

I grabbed my swimsuit (ignoring the voice that kept whispering that I didn’t look good enough to wear it)and off we went to the yard where we paired a tarp slip-in-slide with the sprinkler and spent the next few hours playing, laughing, and making memories.

Lunch wasn’t ready when Matt got home to eat. The laundry wasn’t done either. And you could track us through the house by following the grass blades from the front door to the bathrooms.

We made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on the back deck and jumped right back in the water when we were finished. That’s when my little guy turned to me and said, “Mom, I don’t think I’ve ever had this much fun in my entire life.”

Oh, my heart.

That’s joy.

That’s what I miss when I put more of my focus on my to-do list and less on the amazing gifts I’ve been given. That’s what I miss when I let Satan speak louder than my Heavenly Father. That’s what I miss when I measure my worth in nonsense and physical accomplishments.

And I don’t want to do that anymore.

God has already granted me abundant life. I just have to take it.

Sun versus Snow Critique Workshop

(Last revised: 2/16/15)

Title: RESTLESS
Genre: YA Fantasy
Word Count: 86,500

Pitch: When Adelie discovers a world within dreams, she must overcome the living nightmares that threaten her life or be lost to the dream world forever.

Query:

Dear Super Agent,

Seventeen-year-old Adelie Elliot used to have big plans for her life: get into a great college, marry her high school boyfriend, and become a doctor of psychology. But between nightmares laden with death threats and shadow people stalking her every movement, maintaining her sanity is more important.

Fed up with the paralyzing fears, Adelie approaches one of the shadows and finds it isn’t just a figment of her imagination. The creature acts as a portal, sending her spiraling into the world of dreams. A clan of Dream Seekers welcomes her into their ranks and teaches her how to take down stray nightmares created by the fallen god Morpheus. The nightmares latch on to innocent dreamers and destroy their minds; it is the work of the Dream Seekers to protect the innocent. With Morpheus unleashing his plans for the revenge of an ancient grudge, no one is safe –whether in the dream world or reality.

Morpheus’ hold over Adelie’s mind is particularly strong, as she is new to her powers of dream manipulation. If she is unable to break his hold and escape the nightmares he’s plagued her with, her physical form will die and she’ll remain a prisoner of the dream world forever.

Some dreams are hard to wake up from, but for Adelie, it might be just be impossible.

RESTLESS is an 86,500 word, YA fantasy novel with series potential. It will appeal to fans of THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS and INCEPTION.

I am currently raising two, rambunctious preschoolers at home that keep my imagination in working order. Like my protagonist, I drink entirely too much coffee and always have a crazy dream to share upon waking.

My completed manuscript is available at your request. Thank you so much for your time and consideration.

As per your request, the first 10 pages of the novel are included below for your review.

Sincerely,

Stephanie Eding

First 250 Words:

Keep breathing. It’s not real. None of this is real.

I just have to keep telling myself that. My eyes are locked on my feet; the cracks in the sidewalk move under me in a blur. Thunder rumbles through the clouds, threatening rain. But a storm is the least of my worries tonight.

The muscles tense throughout my body and I speed up into a jog. They’re everywhere: waves of smoky shadows squirm in and out of the bushes, keeping in perfect step with me. If I stop, they stop. Though, it does anything but hold still or mirror my movement. In fact, when I remain still, that’s when it shows itself entirely.

My feet pound against the pavement when I turn the corner onto my street and break into a full-blown sprint. The house is visible from here –the first comforting sight of the evening.  I have yet to see these things indoors; so that is exactly where I intend to go.

I burst through the front door and shut it behind me as fast as I can. Sinking against the smooth wood frame, I catch my breath and find three hungry faces staring at me from the dinner table.

“Goodness, Adelie! You didn’t need to run. I told you I would come get you from work if you wanted.” Miss Abnor moves from her seat to the kitchen to grab an empty plate and gestures for me to join them at the table.

“I know,” I reply. My chest rises and falls with the gulps of air. “It’s okay. I wanted to walk, but I felt a raindrop. Wanted to beat the storm.”

Hook and Pitch Critique

Hook – THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS meets INCEPTION when a teen’s mind is hijacked by the god of nightmares.

Pitch- Seventeen-year-old Adelie Elliot used to have big plans for her life: get into a great college, marry her high school sweetheart, and become a doctor of psychology. But between nightmares laden with death threats and shadow people stocking her every movement, she’s more concerned with simply making it through the day alive.

Fed up with the paralyzing fears, Adelie approaches one of the shadows and finds it isn’t just a figment of her imagination. The creature acts as a portal sending her spiraling into the world of dreams. A clan of Dream Seekers welcomes her into their ranks and teaches her how to take down stray nightmares. They need her help to combat the growing threat in the dream land: the fallen god Morpheus. His plot to regain full control proves deadly to all that get in his way –particularly to this group of Dream Seekers who have the exact skills he needs to complete his plan.

If Adelie is unable to shake the hold Morpheus has over her mind, she will fall under his control forever –and forfeit her life in reality. Some dreams are hard to wake up from, but for Adelie, it might be just be impossible.

Overdone Book Themes

I’ve declared December to be my reading month. I just needed a break from writing to clear my head and do a little research on what’s popular on the shelves right now. I’m noticing a lot of trends, some of which are annoying and some that are just interesting.

Here are some made up story excerpts to explain what I think is OVERDONE:

1.) “Blythe always found it very difficult to fit in with other girls. Always being a bit of a tomboy herself, it was just easier to hang out with the guys. That’s why she hit it off so well with Frank. After getting into a fist fight on the playground in kindergarten, they settled their differences and had been best friends ever since.” (Main female character doesn’t fit in with other girls, has male best friend.)

2.) “The winter dance was the biggest party of the school year. But Caycee Jo didn’t mind that she didn’t have a date. She was happy to stay home, curled up with her newest book from the library. She was a loner, anyway. Even in a room full of people, she still felt lonely and simply preferred not to dabble in the world’s push for social interaction.” (Main character is an extreme introvert/book nerd.)

3.) “Greer looked toward the door. In a normal household, the father would be waltzing in from his full day at the office. The mother would be humming to herself as she put the finishing touches on supper before helping the children finish up their homework. But there was no father dropping a briefcase at the entrance, no mother making his favorite dish of macaroni and cheese. Instead, Greer was left to figure out his own math problems and eat another bag of potato chips to sustain him. If it hadn’t been for the car accident, he would have been able to experience the former. But, alas, he was forced to live the life of an orphan.” (Main characters without one or both parents.)

4.) “I knew I shouldn’t stare, but how could I not? His face looked like he’d been chiseled to perfection by an angel. His flowing blond hair curled around his ears, highlighting the deep blue sapphire of his eyes. He smiles at me, the dimples beside his lips acting as glorious parentheses around his vibrant smile. His laugh is contagious, causing me to laugh right along with him. He was the most popular guy in school, the star quarterback of the football team –and he chose me. I’m just a simple girl. What could he possibly see in me? No matter. I’m his and he’s mine.” (Main character has a boyfriend that is too perfect and very popular –is surprised he wanted her out of all the other girls.)

5.) “There was something very mysterious about Leeland. He came and went from school like he was under no obligation to attend. He spoke to no one and remained aloof. I caught him looking in my direction from time to time, his pupils dilated far beyond that of a normal person. There was a strange mark on the back of his hand that intrigued me. I knew I had to find out what it meant, even if it killed me.” (Dark, mysterious love interest that is something other than human -probably a vampire- and the main character is ready to risk her life just to soothe her curiosity.)

6.) ”Lyla knew she was the only one that could save the world. She was the Chosen One, after all.” (Chosen One books.)

AND MY LEAST FAVORITE OF ALL:

7.) “Harbor, I love you, but I have to do this alone,” Walden said, his fingers winding into the tangled curls of her hair.
“No,” she argued. “I can’t let you risk your life for me. We’re in this together.”
He pulled her in closer, crushing the air out of her lungs with the strength of his embrace. She wondered how she would go on without him, if she could really bring herself to say goodbye. She held on to the moment, memorizing the way their bodies fit so perfectly, every curve coming together like a puzzle. They were one, not meant to be broken.
“If I don’t come back…”
“Stop it. You will come back. I love you, do you understand me?” Harbor took his face in her hands, keeping her eyes fixed on his. “I’m coming with you!”
“No! Harbor, no! It’s too dangerous! I can’t risk your life for this.”
“We started this together, Walden. We’re finishing it. I’m coming.”
(Overly romantic couples who find themselves in peril and argue about who is going and who is staying and ultimately both go because of their undying love. Blech.)

If you also couldn’t tell, weird names is also a theme I’m noticing.

I’ll admit, I’m guilty of a couple of these. (Not the last one!!!!) My characters are a little more along the lines of:
“I don’t want to go! It’s freaking scary in there!”
“Oh, suck it up, Buttercup!”

However, I do have an orphan and her name is unique (Adelie) and she does like the library, but she’s not a full blown introvert. So, there’s that.

Query Letter Critique: A DREAM LOST

I’m participating in Michelle Hauck’s Holiday Query Blog Hop where writers can post their query letters and get feedback on how to make improvements. Since query letters are CRAZY hard, I’m thrilled to invite the advice! Here is my query letter for A DREAM LOST, revised December 11.

Dear Wonderful Agent,

I am currently seeking representation for my YA novel A DREAM LOST. Because of your interest in urban fantasy, I thought you would be a good fit for this project.

Eighteen-year-old Adelie Elliot is ready to make a break from her foster home and head off to college. But there’s a hitch in the plan when shadowy figures make their appearance without warning when awake and recurring nightmares claim her sleep. Struggling to be brave against the crippling fear, Adelie pursues one of the mysterious shadow people and is transported to a new world within dreams. Waiting to guide her in using her abilities as a Dream Seeker are three eccentric young men with rather unorthodox methods of training. She never knew that sleepwalking could become an art form or that plastic, take-out forks would be a tool used in mastering such a technique.

With the Seekers’ help, Adelie learns to manipulate the dream world and discovers the real purpose of the elite group: to destroy the rogue nightmares before they capture dreamers within sleep. When the nightmares become more consuming, Adelie finds that a fallen mythological god is scheming to reclaim his dream world. As he gains power by feeding off of other Seeker’s strength, Adelie realizes that her own life –and the lives of her new friends –would give him just what he needed to restore himself as lord over the dream land.

If Adelie doesn’t stop the unnatural villain before he’s restored to full power, her life will be lost, or worse –she’ll have to remain within dreams forever as a servant to the god of nightmares.

A DREAM LOST is a 93,000 word YA fantasy novel with series potential. It is similar in tone to THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS.

I am currently raising two, rambunctious preschoolers at home that keep my imagination in working order. Like my protagonist, I drink entirely too much coffee and always have a crazy dream to share upon waking. My completed manuscript is available at your request.

Thank you so much for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Stephanie A Eding

Death by Writing

I haven’t written a blog in a couple of weeks.  Why?  Because I hit the end stages on finished my second book A LINGERING UNREST.  Once I get the finish line in sight, I can’t be relied on to do any sort of life outside of writing.

But I’ve discovered something in the writing process:

Writing is HARD!

It’s OVERWHELMING!

It will drive you to complete MADNESS!

It will suck every last ounce of energy right out of your body.  Seriously.

Allow me to walk you through my thought process from the beginning to the end stages of writing:

“OK.  I’m going to write a book. Yikes.  Where do I even begin?  This is too stressful!”

“All right.  I have an idea.  I have characters.  Will people like these characters?  Has this idea been done before?  How do I make it original?  This is so dang hard!”

“Page one is written.  It took all day, but that first page is out of the way.  Page one of –what?  Like 300?  This is going to take forever!”

“Second pot of coffee consumed in three hours.  OK.  The book is halfway done and I’ve used up all of my ideas.  How in the world will I stretch this out into a full novel?  GAH!”

“Ready to conclude.  How do I make this epic enough for people to remember it?  Will they put it down and be excited or did I just waste a portion of their lives?  They are going to hate me!  I’m a terrible writer!”

“I just wrote a whole book! I’m so pumped!  Celebrate!  Well, now how the heck to I get it published?  You mean there’s more to this than just writing the blasted thing?  I’m not done yet?  Are you freaking kidding me??????”

“Agents.  I can do this.  I can find a great literary agent to represent me.  I just have to write a noticeable query letter and get their attention from the slush pile.  No problem.  I should only have to send out a few of these, right?  Wow, this is a project… It’s so time consuming!  There are a million agents out there!”

“Welcome to my collection, Rejection #871.  My book sucks!  I’m a joke of a human being!”

“I’ve gained ten pounds solely from coffee creamers.”

“I’m going to have to go back and rewrite this entire book…”

“I can’t do this.  Where do I even begin?  This is so stressful!!!!!!!!”

Yeah, it’s just one big circle of insanity.  Hopefully soon, I can post that I have been signed by an agent.  However, that just starts a whole new circle of craziness in the process of publication!  It’s a long one, folks.

The good news (and, I guess, kind of a weird part about all of this) is that I have never loved a task more than writing a book!  Seriously, you should try it!  It’s totally worth the gray hairs and stomach ulcers!  I promise!

Bucket List Explosion

What are your life’s goals and ambitions? I don’t just mean the standard –get married, have kids, find a great career –those are all fabulous life aspirations, for sure! But I mean, if you could do anything in this lifetime, sky is the limit, what would you do? I’ve always been a bit of a big dreamer, so I’m going to share my bucket list that stretches to the stars:

-Open a feline rescue center. I will name all the cats after my favorite book characters and when I run out of those, I’ll simply name them after foods. (Would you like to adopt Magnus Bane or Funyun?) I also plan to have a special wing in the building just for black cats in memory of my cat Annabelle Mildred who was the best little fluffy companion I’ve ever had.

-Start a Christian night club. I love to dance. And I love to dance crazy. I miss my clubbing days in college BECAUSE of the dancing, but there are a whole lot of other parts of that experience that I do not miss. This new revolutionary idea is going to be fun AND wholesome. Can’t you just imagine? 🙂

-Adopt somewhere between 4 and 13 children. I want a big family. I want to adopt. I know I will go insane in the process. That much is understood. Also, I need money.

-Pet a giant squid. If you plunge me into the depths of the ocean in one of those deep-sea-diving submarines, I will cry until I drown in my own tears. The thought of that is terrifying to me. However, if you bring a giant squid up to the surface (dead or alive), I want to touch it. I am completely intrigued by those crazy things. I will tell everyone I meet that I’ve pet one. I will even get a bumper sticker that displays the fact on the bum of my car as proudly as every marathon runner or honor student parent.

-Publish books. This one is not quite as far-fetched as my others, as I’m in the process of trying to get my first book series accepted by a literary agent right now. Still, it remains one of my greatest goals in life!

-Run for office. I enjoy politics and I can be incredibly passionate about issues. Unfortunately, that passion can rush out of my mouth faster than my brain can think and I don’t know that anyone would elect me because of my raw emotion. I’m sure everyone else thinks they’re as right as I am about the issues. But we can’t all be right. Am I right?

-Start a business. I would love to be a small business owner. I’ve tossed around the idea of book stores, coffee shops, and even starting my own gift basket company. I really don’t care! I think they all sound like fun!

-Go on “Dancing With The Stars”. Since there still isn’t a “Housewives Edition”, I’m going to have to make myself famous in one way or another which should probably be a goal all on its own, but it’s not. I want to be paired with Derek Hough because I think he’s the greatest dancer alive and I want to Samba my tail off on that fancy little stage!

I see no reason why I can’t do them all. I must go. I have suddenly become very busy.